http://pages.teamintraining.org/wa/nbhtri11/sholdagtvz
I'm at it again! Raising more money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma society's Team in Training program. I realize that I'm the kind of person that has to have big, lofty goals. I need to train with people to keep at it. It feels so good to be able to accomplish a big goal, ya know? Cancer treatment was a big lofty goal. It used to be that if you were diagnosed with cancer, you planned your funeral and asked your doc "how long?" Now patients ask "how long do I have to take this medication?" or "how many rounds of chemo?" More patient are in remission. More patients have better quality of life. But, we still have a big lofty goal - a cure. I'm swimming, biking, and running full force towards that goal. This is the craziest thing I've ever done. Not only is this my 6th season with Team in Training, not only am I entering into this with doubt in my ability to raise $4,000, but I'm entering this with genuine fear about my ability to whip my body into shape in these next 8 months. This is going to take a lot of hard work and dedication. I'm not a researcher. I'm not a chemist. I'm not a doctor. I'm just a "regular" person trying to do what I can to help. I've lost too many people to cancer. I want to promote healthier lifestyles in others and I need to start with myself. I have to walk the talk and give it a shot. I hope that you'll offer words of advice, motivation, and cheer. I'm doing this for you, for your loved ones, for me, for my loved ones, and for all those people out there suffering right this minute. The 50+ people who are right at this moment receiving chemo and poison in their bodies only two floors above where I am sitting as I write this.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Friday, September 10, 2010
A week from tomorrow I will be a married lady!
Yay! Only a week to go. Things are going well, my health has improved, I have less stress about getting things done as more things come together and as our amazing friends step up to help us with amazing skills we didn't know they even possessed. Like making crafty things, signs, programs, etc. I think when we first started planning, I was afraid to burden people and ask for help, but now that I have, I feel like it has enriched the experience and made every detail more meaningful and full of love. :) I had my hair done tonight and had the trial run on my sweet wedding hair-do! Loved it. I think it will look great with my sweet wedding get-up. :) I'm so blessed to be marrying the one I love and really looking forward to our life together. I am also looking forward to seeing family, having fun, and the honeymoon that Heather and I are spending together. Things are good. :)
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Only 32 days....
I am getting so very very very excited! Only 32 days to go (technically 31) until I will be an official married lady! So excited about marrying Heather, seeing family, time with friends, and just having a fun weekend filled with love and of non-stop amazing activities...followed by a gorgeous honeymoon.
The waiting is probably the hardest part. To know me is to know that I'm an instant gratification kind of girl. I just can't help it. Tell me you have a surprise for me? I'll guess and ask questions and then read your facial expressions until I figure it out. I swear that I would make a GREAT member of the FBI. Not sure if this means I'm a super sleuth or if I just make friends with people who are really really bad liars. I'd like to think that I got it genetically from my parents, who could always catch me in a lie when I was a kid. "No, I didn't jump into our neighbors pool, fully clothed. I fell in."
These days, I still can't lie. My feelings, as hard as I sometimes try to hide them, are out there on my sleeve for the whole world to see. When I am hurt, there they are. When I am happy, there they are. It seems that it works better to just be honest about how I feel. It's less complicated and leads to less passive agressive snarky resentfulness....you all know what I'm talking about, don't even try to pretend you don't know how to play the "silent treatment game" or "guess why I'm pissed at you trivia. I stopped that stuff a while ago, but during times like the present, I sometimes wish that I could be cool as a cucumber or at least try to fake it.
Instead, I'm frantic. At work. At home. With friends. While trying to fall asleep. I've got some health issues. I'm up to 8 pills a day. Not many, all things considered. Well, unless you are like me, and have no natural ability at being awesome at swallowing humongous pills. You know, it's not really the pills. It's the crazy day at work. The overtime. The person that yelled at me on the phone. The pile on my desk. The phone that won't stop ringing. Trying to make wedding related calls on my lunch break and up pulls an ambulance with bells and whistles. Then, coming home exhausted, and seeing this ginormous gargantuan white powdery pill. Really, who the hell came up with this and thought it was a good idea? Swallowing items as big as my pinkie finger? Is that approved by the FDA filed under "Swallowing large objects"? It's just always that last little thing that makes me start worrying and once I start worrying, I'm likely to just worry about everything... you know, while I'm at it already....why not? Mole hills become mountains. I cry over spilled milk.
It's trying to not second guess the plans we've made and what napkins, plates, cakes, dress, etc. Really? I wish I didn't care so much and that the planning part of this was done. But is it weird that a strange little part of me loves to be this busy, thrives on this stress, and is really excited about having something so amazing to look forward to for so long? Ah, it's the perfectionist in me that just won't let the image in my head fall to the wayside. I know that at some point, I'll just have to let things be and worry about what really matters most to me: marrying the love of my life.
I find comfort in the fact that the biggest worry in my life right now is how the centerpieces will look, if people will enjoy the music, the food. Not once has a shred of doubt crossed my mind regarding my committment to Heather and our life together. From a worrywart like me, having something in my life that encourages NO sense of worry, is in itself, a phenomenon. That makes me feel like the luckiest girl in the world and it kind of makes the napkins and music seem a little silly. But not silly enough for me to stop worrying about it, at least not in the present moment. :) I think the worrying is just a way to occupy my mind and focus on what can be done now, in the present, to satisfy my instant gratification addition, while waiting for the day that I know will change my life forever. :) And thus the cycle starts again....
The waiting is probably the hardest part. To know me is to know that I'm an instant gratification kind of girl. I just can't help it. Tell me you have a surprise for me? I'll guess and ask questions and then read your facial expressions until I figure it out. I swear that I would make a GREAT member of the FBI. Not sure if this means I'm a super sleuth or if I just make friends with people who are really really bad liars. I'd like to think that I got it genetically from my parents, who could always catch me in a lie when I was a kid. "No, I didn't jump into our neighbors pool, fully clothed. I fell in."
These days, I still can't lie. My feelings, as hard as I sometimes try to hide them, are out there on my sleeve for the whole world to see. When I am hurt, there they are. When I am happy, there they are. It seems that it works better to just be honest about how I feel. It's less complicated and leads to less passive agressive snarky resentfulness....you all know what I'm talking about, don't even try to pretend you don't know how to play the "silent treatment game" or "guess why I'm pissed at you trivia. I stopped that stuff a while ago, but during times like the present, I sometimes wish that I could be cool as a cucumber or at least try to fake it.
Instead, I'm frantic. At work. At home. With friends. While trying to fall asleep. I've got some health issues. I'm up to 8 pills a day. Not many, all things considered. Well, unless you are like me, and have no natural ability at being awesome at swallowing humongous pills. You know, it's not really the pills. It's the crazy day at work. The overtime. The person that yelled at me on the phone. The pile on my desk. The phone that won't stop ringing. Trying to make wedding related calls on my lunch break and up pulls an ambulance with bells and whistles. Then, coming home exhausted, and seeing this ginormous gargantuan white powdery pill. Really, who the hell came up with this and thought it was a good idea? Swallowing items as big as my pinkie finger? Is that approved by the FDA filed under "Swallowing large objects"? It's just always that last little thing that makes me start worrying and once I start worrying, I'm likely to just worry about everything... you know, while I'm at it already....why not? Mole hills become mountains. I cry over spilled milk.
It's trying to not second guess the plans we've made and what napkins, plates, cakes, dress, etc. Really? I wish I didn't care so much and that the planning part of this was done. But is it weird that a strange little part of me loves to be this busy, thrives on this stress, and is really excited about having something so amazing to look forward to for so long? Ah, it's the perfectionist in me that just won't let the image in my head fall to the wayside. I know that at some point, I'll just have to let things be and worry about what really matters most to me: marrying the love of my life.
I find comfort in the fact that the biggest worry in my life right now is how the centerpieces will look, if people will enjoy the music, the food. Not once has a shred of doubt crossed my mind regarding my committment to Heather and our life together. From a worrywart like me, having something in my life that encourages NO sense of worry, is in itself, a phenomenon. That makes me feel like the luckiest girl in the world and it kind of makes the napkins and music seem a little silly. But not silly enough for me to stop worrying about it, at least not in the present moment. :) I think the worrying is just a way to occupy my mind and focus on what can be done now, in the present, to satisfy my instant gratification addition, while waiting for the day that I know will change my life forever. :) And thus the cycle starts again....
What the heck.....
I've seen so much hate in the news and online lately regarding the possibility of same sex marriage being legalized. While there are militant members of any subgroup of people, I believe most of us are people who are trying to love, be loved, and make a small imprint on the world. We all just want to be understood, accepted, and feel "normal". Some of us are born "different". I have brown hair. I have hazel eyes. They might be different than yours; but that doesn't mean mine are better or lesser than yours. Our differences are what make us unique, special, and a more valuable piece of the larger group.
I believe that the fight to maintain that all people should have the right to marry is a valid and important fight. Our nation should fight for all of it's people and uphold ALL rights, not just those of the wealthy, the heterosexual. Allowing gay people to marry does nothing to devalue the love that people share when united in heterosexual marriage, but solidifies that it still maintains importance and is supported by so many people in this country. How about "We believe so much in marriage and in it's value that we want to give you this blessing and celebrate it with you....." instead of "ewww, you homos getting married makes me sick". Let's grow up a little here.
It made me think.....How many people stood at their heterosexual wedding, in front of gay friends.... and married the love of their life while knowing that their friends couldn't do what they were doing? Did these gay guests speak out about how unfair it was? Did they decide to "not attend" because they didn't think it was "right"? Or did they show up, wish the best of luck, dance the night away, and feel a bit happy, yet envious about the beauty of the wedding?
We're all just people, folks. We all bleed. We all have priorities. We all have families. We all have the ability to love. Why not choose it over hate and acceptance over ignorance? I work in a field where people are alive one day and gone the next. Why spend life so worried about who someone else is in love with, who someone else is marrying, who someone else kisses goodnight? Our lives are already too short. We already don't have enough time. Any day could be our last. On your last day, do you want to be celebrating your life and what personally makes you HAPPY or feeling as though other people have done you wrong by enjoying LOVE in their lives.
I believe that the fight to maintain that all people should have the right to marry is a valid and important fight. Our nation should fight for all of it's people and uphold ALL rights, not just those of the wealthy, the heterosexual. Allowing gay people to marry does nothing to devalue the love that people share when united in heterosexual marriage, but solidifies that it still maintains importance and is supported by so many people in this country. How about "We believe so much in marriage and in it's value that we want to give you this blessing and celebrate it with you....." instead of "ewww, you homos getting married makes me sick". Let's grow up a little here.
It made me think.....How many people stood at their heterosexual wedding, in front of gay friends.... and married the love of their life while knowing that their friends couldn't do what they were doing? Did these gay guests speak out about how unfair it was? Did they decide to "not attend" because they didn't think it was "right"? Or did they show up, wish the best of luck, dance the night away, and feel a bit happy, yet envious about the beauty of the wedding?
We're all just people, folks. We all bleed. We all have priorities. We all have families. We all have the ability to love. Why not choose it over hate and acceptance over ignorance? I work in a field where people are alive one day and gone the next. Why spend life so worried about who someone else is in love with, who someone else is marrying, who someone else kisses goodnight? Our lives are already too short. We already don't have enough time. Any day could be our last. On your last day, do you want to be celebrating your life and what personally makes you HAPPY or feeling as though other people have done you wrong by enjoying LOVE in their lives.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Thank you for your support and help!
Thank you so much to everyone who supported LLS and myself. I did the Eugene Half Marathon for my Uncle Jimmy and had a great time. My sister came along to join me and my Dad and Heather cheered from the sidelines. There is nothing like running into that stadium at the finish... Steve Prefontaine touched that track. Holy moly. I am so incredibly grateful, humbled, appreciative, and thankful for all of you and for all of your help. Thank you for every word of encouragement and for every dollar donated. Each one of them counted.
James A.
James "Jimmy" D. retired CPD over 31 years, beloved husband of Pat (nee Holda), loving father of Victoria (Patrick CPD) Andrews and Robin Allotta (John Sajdak), beloved son of the late Demi and Josephine (nee Gioioso), fond grandfather of Shannon, Jimmy, and John, dear brother of Robert (Rebecca) Allotta, brother-in-law of Robert (Jan) Holda and the late Ronald (Darlene) Holda and the late Judy (John) Mercier, fond uncle of many.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Time to get serious.....
Time to get in shape for the wedding! :) Doing lots of boot camp exercise, plyometrics, yoga, aerobics, weight training, running, cycling, spinning, etc. The hardest part is getting my diet looking better. So many years of reading all these girly magazines would lead me to believe that I shouldn't be eating much of anything. Working with my dietician has really opened my eyes. I am not taking in NEARLY enough protein. Women with PCOS crave carbs and because I'm trying to diet, I've even been limiting those. Not so good. I should be taking in about 1600 calories per day, at least 40 grams of protein, more dairy for calcium, etc. Here goes nothing!
My goal is to run the Eugene marathon on May 2nd in under 6 hours.
-Stacey
My goal is to run the Eugene marathon on May 2nd in under 6 hours.
-Stacey
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